


not everybody made the list this year

by QuietLittleVoices



Series: there's always someone cooler than you [1]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Middle School, Ambiguously Takes Place In The Late 90s/00s, Forming Relationships, Friendship Is Hard When You're A Preteen With No Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Gen, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 05:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20003374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietLittleVoices/pseuds/QuietLittleVoices
Summary: Ben is ten when he first meets Sammy, who's a year older, and they become best friends right away. For two years they're inseparable, but then Sammy has to go and graduate to high school and make new friends - and Ben can't have someone else being Sammy's best friend, that's just unacceptable.





	not everybody made the list this year

**Author's Note:**

> Ok I'm here I'm working on a much bigger fic that's got so many moving parts it's just a bit exhausting so this is a short thing I managed to write!! Hope you enjoy.

Ben is ten when he first meets Sammy. Doyle and Pete and whoever else had been chasing him around during lunch period and finally had corralled Ben into the theatre wing, where they knew he always went to hide. Then they locked him in the bathroom, one of the only one-stall accessible washrooms in the school so it could be locked from the outside. Ben wasn’t sure where they’d got the key from. 

The door opened about half an hour later and Ben tried to quickly make it seem like he hadn’t been crying, like he was tough and could take whatever they did like how his mom told him to act. “They’re just trying to get a reaction,” she would remind him, after getting off the phone from yelling at the principal because Ben had missed third period from being stuck somewhere - again. Ben wasn’t even sure what his third period class was at this point.

Ben could see Chickenfoot Dixon through the crack in the door and then another kid was being shoved through. He was a lot taller than Ben, but Ben couldn’t tell if it was because he was older or just because Ben was shorter than everyone in school. The boy landed on his hands and knees and the door slammed shut behind him - Ben could just barely make out the snickering as the other kids ran away. He didn’t recognize him, which was weird since Ben was in the theatre club and usually kids who weren’t didn’t come over here.

“What did they get you for?” Ben asks. His voice shakes so he tries to take a deep breath and concentrate, like his mom taught him to, but he just ends up sniffling and more embarrassed.

The boy leans against the door and shrugs. His hair’s shaggy and falls over his face when he hangs his head.

“This is gonna be a long afternoon if you don’t say anything,” Ben says, still watery but he was starting to get more interested in the boy and why he’d been targeted than he was scared and bored. Maybe he was the same kind of different as Ben. “I’m Ben.”

“Sammy,” he says, looking up at Ben and then quickly back down. “I mean. Sam.”

“Which do you like better?” Ben asks, moving across the bathroom to sit with him.

He shrugs one shoulder awkwardly. “I dunno. My dad says Sam is more adult. But -”

“Well, I can call you Sammy, and he doesn’t have to ever know,” Ben says quickly. “Is that okay?”

Sammy looks up and smiles at him, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “Yeah. That’s okay.”

It takes fifteen minutes for Ben to bike to Sammy’s house. Mostly they go to Ben’s house, though, because Sammy’s dad gets weird about having friends over and won’t let him have sleepovers. Ben’s never had a sleepover, either, but it isn’t because his mom wouldn’t let him. Sammy usually comes over to Ben’s after school, though, and even though Betty wasn’t usually home then they still made sure to have their homework done before they went to play because she’d check as soon as she got in when she found them playing Pokemon in Ben’s room or they got back from the park down the street. 

Sometimes Sammy can stay for dinner, but he usually has to leave before six. They can hang out together all day on the weekends, which was when Betty would take out the VCR recordings of The X-Files that she’d made for Ben during the week and they’d watch that together with popcorn and Sammy would hide his face when gross stuff happened. 

Ben’s never had a best friend before, or other friends really at all, but from the moment he meets Sammy they become inseparable. Chickenfoot and Doyle and Pete still pick on them but it’s easier to get away when there’s two of them and Ben isn’t left fending them off on his own. Safety in numbers and all that. 

But then Sammy had to be a year older and go to high school a year before Ben.

The summer before Sammy went to high school, they hung out every day. Sammy didn’t bring up that the next year was going to be any different, so Ben didn’t either. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to know - he wanted to know what classes Sammy was taking and if he was going to join any clubs but he also desperately didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to think about all the new people, who wouldn’t be so small and mistaken for Sammy’s little brother all the time, that Sammy would meet and become better friends with than Ben. 

On the first day of eighth grade, Ben gets shoved into a locker. It’s fucking (sorry Betty) stereotypical, is what it is, even though Ben can’t say they’ve ever used this tactic before. Only the seventh and eighth graders got lockers, and he had Sammy last year, so this was probably just their first chance.

He gets let out fast, though, because the lockers line the hallway and someone walked by within the next ten minutes. So at least if this is Pete’s new favourite spot to shove him he won’t be stuck for the whole afternoon.

He doesn’t tell his mom about it, because then he’d probably accidentally admit that he swore even if it was just in his own head and he’d get in trouble. He doesn’t want to worry her, either - she’d tried to hide it from him, but she’d been so concerned before he met Sammy. 

Sammy doesn’t call that night, which is pretty normal. His dad didn’t usually let him use the phone, so he and Ben had only talked on the phone a handful of times in the two years they’d known each other. If they hadn’t gone to Ben’s house right away after school, Sammy usually just came over in the evening when he could, but that was pretty rare anyway. Sammy doesn’t come over that day, though. Or the next. 

He doesn’t come over until Friday night. Ben can see him coming from his room upstairs and resolves to tell Sammy that he’s upset, but once he can see his best friend he’s just too excited and jumps to hug him. “It’s been  _ forever _ ,” he laments, dragging Sammy upstairs. 

“There’s lots of homework in high school,” Sammy says, screwing his nose up in disgust.

Ben frowned, too, knowing that that was what he was in for next year. “How is class? Is it different? Are the teachers nice? What about the students?”

Sammy laughed and laid down on Ben’s floor. “It’s… fine. It’s not that different. I knew most of the other people already - it’s not like that many people are moving into this area for high school. But. There are two new kids.”

Ben laid on his stomach on his bed, propping his chin up in one hand. “Who are they? Have you talked to them?”

Sammy gets weirdly quiet all of a sudden and his face goes a weird colour. Ben’s never seen him look like that before, and he thought of himself as a bit of an expert in what all of Sammy’s expressions look like, so that’s extra weird. “Yeah. We’ve kinda gotten - pretty close. They’re siblings, Jack and Lily Wright. Lily’s already in grade eleven and she’s super mad their parents moved here so close to senior year, but Jack is my age and said he was excited to meet new people. They live on my street so we bike home together.”

Ben flips over so that Sammy can’t see his face fall. “Oh,” he says, and it sounds flat even to him. “They sound. Uh. Nice?”

“You’d love Jack,” Sammy says quickly. “You’re both into the same stuff, like, Kingsie and ghosts - apparitions, sorry - and all that. He has a box set of the X-Files that his parents got him for his birthday, he showed me.”

Ben instantly knows that meeting Jack is the last thing on Earth that he wants. It only took a  _ week _ for Sammy to find a replacement, and Ben knows that he hates Jack for that alone. Sammy doesn’t, though. Sammy’s grinning when he tells Ben about Jack and all the things that Jack likes and how smart he is, and Ben - Ben tries to listen, because Sammy is excited, and Sammy’s sat through hours and hours of Ben talking about Mothman and Bigfoot and the documentaries his mom let him stay up past bedtime for. It’s hard, though, because Jack is just like Ben - but better. Because Ben’s pretty sure he’s never seen Sammy look this giddy before.

“I can’t wait for you to meet him. And Lily,” Sammy adds quickly.

Ben nods, trying to not show his expression to Sammy. “Yeah. I can’t wait.”

Doyle, Chickenfoot, and Pete don’t go after Ben  _ every _ day. Now that they’re in eighth grade, they’re bigger than all the other kids - especially because Doyle and Chickenfoot are actually Sammy’s age - and they have more options than they did before. Ben hates that he’s a little bit grateful that he isn’t the only target, but he still ends up inside a locker or an empty classroom or a bathroom about twice a week. He doesn’t tell his mom, but Ben knows that she can tell that he’s upset since she brings home ice cream one night and watches the X-Files with him. Ben can’t even get the normal enjoyment out of it that he would, though, because he can’t stop thinking about if Sammy watches it with his  _ new _ best friend,  _ Jack _ .

Sammy isn’t ignoring Ben, though. He comes over at least once a week, usually on Wednesdays after the high school lets out. It’s only about half an hour after Ben’s school does, but it takes Sammy another twenty minutes to bike to Ben’s house, so he can usually finish homework before Sammy gets there. Sometimes it’s more than once a week, and Ben wishes that he knew when Sammy was going to show up but there was no way to know. Usually it’s Friday’s, but not every time. Ben tries to ask about it, but Sammy just looks away and doesn’t answer, switches the subject to something that happened in class, and Ben lets it drop even though he can feel something sinking in the pit of his stomach.

“Jack’s at rugby,” Sammy admits in November. “Sometimes there’s practice on Fridays, too, or games.”

Ben feels his jaw clench and his doesn’t make eye contact with Sammy as they sit cross-legged on his bedroom floor playing Pokemon. Sammy always borrows some of Ben’s because he doesn’t have any of his own. “Oh. Why don’t you go to the games?” he asks, because he feels like he should, not because he wants to hear more about Jack and how great and strong and cool he is. 

Ben can hear the shifting of cloth as Sammy shrugs and he gets the sense that Sammy isn’t looking up, either, but Ben refuses to check. “I dunno. He’s never invited me.”

“You’re, like, his best friend, though,” Ben says hesitantly, “why wouldn’t he want you to go?” He looks up at Sammy quickly and sees that his face is red.

“I wouldn’t say ‘best friend’,” Sammy mumbles, and Ben hates how warm he feels when Sammy says that. “I dunno,” he repeats.

Ben leaves it, because he doesn’t want to probe further, but he doesn’t miss how Sammy leaves a little earlier than usual and he hopes that he didn’t say anything wrong.

Ben knows that Sammy’s house isn’t where he wants to be during winter break - he spent all day every day, including Christmas, at Ben’s house since they met. Hanukkah was always a bigger affair, which usually had Ben and Betty travelling to visit his grandparents if there was a weekend that they could get away for it and make the four hour drive to their house, but they still had a small Christmas celebration. Ben knows for a fact that both schools get out on the same day but Sammy doesn’t show up on the first day of vacation. Or the second. In fact, Sammy doesn’t come over for the entire two weeks of winter break.

It’s… fine. Obviously it’s fine - maybe Sammy’s family went away and Sammy couldn’t tell Ben, even though his family had never gone away before in the entire time Ben had known him. He just - know that isn’t true, though, even as he tries to convince himself that it  _ might _ be. He knows that Sammy is hanging out with Jack, that he probably went to Jack’s on Christmas, and even thinking about that makes Ben start to cry when his mom asks him what Sammy’s been up to.

“Oh, honey,” she says softly, immediately wrapping him in her arms. She doesn’t ask him more questions, doesn’t push, and Ben almost wishes that she would. He wishes that he could tell her why he was so upset, but he can’t make the words come out.

And then Sammy shows up on the Wednesday after break like nothing happened and Ben tries not to feel the feelings that are bubbling up in his stomach.

“I didn’t realize they would have rugby practice in January,” he mutters.

Sammy looks at him, confused. “They don’t? He also does theatre and practices are on Wednesday’s right now.”

“Of course he does.” Ben can hear it even as he says it. It’s like someone boiled all the water in his body, because  _ of course _ Jack does this, too, which was always Ben’s thing. He did the children’s theatre thing when he was little, but he’s been in the school play for the last three years. 

“What’s your problem?” Sammy demands, crossing his arms and looking at Ben. 

“I don’t have a problem!” Ben says, and then screws up his face with how harsh it comes out. “It’s just - do you have to talk about Jack  _ all  _ the time? I get that he’s the coolest and just the best and  _ whatever _ but I’m sick of hearing about him constantly!”

Sammy is… completely silent and in the immediate aftermath Ben wishes more than anything that he could take back what he said. Not that he doesn’t mean it, because as he says it he’s struck with exactly how much he  _ does _ kind of mean it. He’s sick of feeling replaced. Sammy just - takes a deep breath and stands up. “I’m going home.”

It takes a second for Ben’s brain to catch up with what’s going on, and by the time he can move Sammy is already out his bedroom door. Ben races to catch up, swinging around the stairs, but his legs are shorter and Sammy gets outside ahead of Ben. “Wait!” he calls out, but Sammy doesn’t even flinch as he grabs the handlebars of his bike. He’s already soaked, his hair hanging down heavily as rain beats down on his head and shoulders. “Come back, Sammy, I’m sorry!” He wonders if Sammy can’t hear him over the rain but he’s only ten feet away. He rides off without turning around and Ben manages, just barely, to shut the front door before starting to cry.

Sammy doesn’t come back on Friday which - yeah, Ben doesn’t even blame him this time. He blames Jack instead, because if Jack had never entered Sammy’s life they wouldn’t have fought because Ben wouldn’t be seething over the fact that someone stole  _ his _ best friend. Betty spends a lot of time on the couch with Ben over the next week, until the doorbell rings and Sammy shows up again. Ben pulls him up to his room while Betty watches with a look that not even Ben can figure out. 

“I’m sorry,” Ben says quickly. “I shouldn’t have said any of that. It was mean.”

“No, it’s not -” Sammy sighs and looks down at his hands, twisted together in front of him. “You didn’t - I should have told you before. What was going on. With me… and Jack.”

“Oh.” Ben feels something in his stomach drop, because this is exactly what he didn’t want to hear.

“I - I don’t know how you figured it out,” Sammy continues, “since you haven’t even met Jack, you haven’t even - but I guess I wasn’t subtle, was I?” He laughs awkwardly, still not looking at Ben. “I wanted to tell you so bad, Ben, but I just - couldn’t. I don’t know why.”

“Tell me what?” Ben asks, because this is suddenly something else, even though Ben has no idea what it is. Why would he  _ want _ to tell Ben that he’d replaced him, that he was only hanging out with Ben out of pity? 

Sammy frowns. “I - I don’t want to -” his voice shakes and Ben can’t take it. He doesn’t know what Sammy’s talking about even a little bit but he reaches out and touches his hands. Sammy jerks back quickly and Ben drops his hands like he’s been burned. “Sorry,” Sammy mutters. “I guess - I mean, you know. You know, right?”

“Know what?” Ben asks and Sammy just screws his face up.

“Me and Jack,” he says slowly, and then starts to speed up like he has to say it before he can run out of steam. “I like him, like  _ really really _ like him - I always sort of knew that I wasn’t ever going to - to date girls, but I didn’t let myself think about it until I met Jack - and then I couldn’t  _ not _ think about it. I was scared - I was so scared that you’d see me and just know and you’d hate me forever. And then over Christmas break, Jack - I - we kissed. And we haven’t talked about it because I was  _ so _ scared that you’d just. You’d know and you’d hate me. And I guess I messed it all up by not telling you because you’re mad at me.”

Ben takes two seconds to hear everything that Sammy just said to him, and then he jumps up and wraps his arms around Sammy’s shoulders, pulling him down to Ben’s height. Sammy is startled but hugs Ben back after a second. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry!” Ben says quickly. “I thought you’d replaced me, Sammy. I thought Jack was your new best friend and you wouldn’t ever need me and when I got to high school you’d ignore me and never talk to me again. But if Jack’s your boyfriend then that’s okay! That’s great, actually, because then I’m still your best friend. I was really mad at Jack, not you, for… stealing my best friend. But that isn’t what happened!”

Sammy pushes his face against Ben’s shoulder. “Not my boyfriend,” he muttered.

“You said you guys kissed, though!” Ben pulls back only to look at Sammy, but doesn’t let him go far. 

Sammy blushes and looks away from Ben. “Yeah… but. I kinda ran away. And we started talking at school like it didn’t happen.”

Ben bounces once on his heels. “You need to ask him about it, Sammy.”

“I - maybe,” Sammy agrees slowly. “Soon. I just - I didn’t want to keep something so big from you, I was just scared of what you’d say.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you because I didn’t understand,” Ben says, pulling Sammy back into a hug. “You’re my best friend and I love you.”

Sammy doesn’t say anything, but Ben knows that he understands because he tightens his fists in Ben’s shirt.

Ben finally meets Jack a week later when Sammy calls him and tells him to meet Sammy outside his house. Ben immediately knows that the boy with Sammy when he gets there is Jack, even though he hadn’t even seen a picture, because he can’t take his eyes off Sammy even when Sammy takes off in Ben’s direction. Ben gave Sammy a hug first and then went over to Jack (who was just - way too tall for a fourteen-year-old, Ben was sure) and hugged him quickly.

“I’ve been so excited to meet you,” Ben says, bouncing on his heels. He knows that just over a week ago he would have said that and it would have been a lie, but he hasn’t been able to wait to meet Jack since he found out he wasn’t being replaced, and even more since Sammy admitted that he talked to Jack and they were dating, but it was on the downlow. When he says, “Sammy talks about you  _ all _ the time.” it doesn’t come out bitter like it would have before he knew.

Jack grins and Ben can hear Sammy groan behind him. “Oh, please tell me what Sammy says.”

“C’mon guys,” Sammy begs. “Jack said he wanted to show you the new video game he got, Ben.”

Jack’s eyes light up. “Oh yeah. My parents just got me an X-Files video game, Ben, you’ll love it! It’s a couple years old but it still works!”

Ben immediately forgets what they’d been talking about and goes back to grab his bike. “Let’s go then!”

Jack leads the way down the street to his house and Sammy comes up next to Ben on their bikes. “Thanks,” he says quietly, and Jack either can’t hear them or pretends not to.

Ben grins. “You might have to make sure me and Jack don’t become best friends, now that I have someone to talk to about cryptids.” 

Sammy throws his head back and laughs, carefree in a way that Ben hasn’t seen since he started high school. “I’d be okay with that, I think.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a bit of an idea for a fic that's basically a sequel to this that takes place 10 years in the future so lmk if you wanna see that?


End file.
